miscellaneous sms

Stri Aur Purush Ke Aansuo Me Yahi Antar Hai Ki Stri Ke
Aansu Farmaish Puri Hone Se Pahle Nikalte Hai Jabki
Purush Ke Aansu FARMAISH Puri Ho Jane Ke Baad…

Guddu Dusre Mitra Se- “Yaar, Meri Guddi Mera Bilkul Bhi Kaha Nahi Manti.
Jo Kahta Hun Uska Ulta Karti Hai.”
“Tab To Tum Nire Murkh Ho, Mai Apni Patni Ko Wah Kahta Hun Jo Mai Nahi Chahtaa Aur Wah Karti Wahi Hai
Jo Ki Mai Dil Se Chahta Hu.” Dusre Dost Ne Uttar Diya.

Guddu Abhi Office Se Aya Hi Tha Ki Guddi Us Par Roj Ki
Tarah Baras Padi. Guddu Chupchap Uski Bate Sunta
Raha. Kuchh Der Bad Guddi Shant Ho Gai.
Usne Guddu Se Kaha- “Aaj Maine Tumhe Roj Ki Apeksha Doguni Bate Sunai Tab Bhi Bahut Shant Ho?’
“Haa, Kyonki Mai Savaa Mahine Ke Liye OFFICE Ke
Kamse Bahar Ja Raha Hu.” Guddu Ne Bahut Hi Itminan Se Utar Diya.

Ek Din Guddu Ne Ladaai Karke Guddi Ne Kaha- “Mai Bahut Bevkuf Thi Jo Tumse Shadi Ki.”
“Chalo, Kisi Na Kisi Rup Me Apni Ek Sachchai To Kabul Ki.
” Guddu Ne Guddi Ki Taraf Dekhte Hue Kaha.

Wish you and your family a better tomorrow, good health & Happy
Festivities. Wish that success will be the crowning achievement of all
your efforts. May this festival of Lights Brighten up your Lives &
Spirits.

Priy Doston Aap sabko HindiSMS.Org ki aur se Deepawali ki Shubh
Kaamnaayein. Aasha karte hain ki aap sab kei liye yeh Tayohaar Shubh
aur mangalmay ho. Shubh Kaamnao kei saath…

The Worldwide emergency number for Mobile Phones is 112. When you are out of coverage area merely dial 112 and the mobile will search for any existing network. This number 112 can be dialed even while the keypad is locked. That’s part of the GSM standard. GSM standards accept that code to remap to the local emergency number, be it 911, 111, 999, or in our case 100.

Diwali Parva hai Khushio ka,
Ujalo ka, Laxmi ka…. Is Diwali Aapki Jindagi khushio se bhari ho,
Duniya ujalo se roshan ho, ghar par Maa Laxmi ka Aagman ho…
Happy Diwali

Diwali aai, masti chahi, rangi rangoli,
Diwali aai, masti chahi, rangi rangoli,
deep jalaye, Dhoom Dhadaka, chhoda phataka, jali Phuljadiyan,
Sabko Bhaye, “Happy Diwali”

Otho Pe Hassi Diol Me Khushi, Gum Ka Kabhi Naam Na Ho. Aap Ko Duniyan Kee Sari Khushiyaan Milen. Oon Khushiyon Kee Kabhi Sham Na Ho. (Happy Dipawali)

Har Khusi Ab Juda Si Lagti Hai
Zindagi Ab Khafa Se Lagti Hai

Jane Wala Chala Gaya Tu To Chhod Kar Mujhe…
Duniya K Har Rashte Har Mod Per…..
Teri Jarurat Si Lagti Hai..

Tere Aane Ki Ummid Per Baithey Hai Zinda
Ke Ab To Suraj Ki Har Kiran..
Tere Aane Ki Roshni Si Lagti Hai

Zinda Hu Yeh Meri Majburi Hai ..
Agar Hota Tera Saath….
To Maut Bhi Zindagi Si Lagti Hai..

Mar Jaau Uska Gam Nahi Hai Mujhe
Or Sayad..
Mujhe Dard Dene Main Tujhe Khusi Si Lagti Hai

Firdous Ki Khusboo Ati Hai
Woh Naseeb Wala Hai Jise Mile Firdous
Ao Aaj Hum Koshish Karein
Usse Paane Ki, Jise Hum Ne Abhi Talak Paya Hi Nahin

Prophet said:
“Whoever stood for the prayers
in the night of Qadr out of sincere
faith and hoping for a reward from Allah,
then all his previous sins will be forgiven”

Memories of moments celebrated together…….
Moments that have been attached in my heart, forever…….
Make me Miss You even more this Ramadan.
Hope this Ramadan brings in Good Fortune & Abounding Happiness
for you!
HAPPY Ramadan

Everyday Sun Rise To Give Us A Message That Darkness
Will Always Be Beaten By Light.
Let Us Follow The Same
Natural Rule And Enjoy The
Festival Of Good Defeats
Evil.

Happy Dashhara

May this Dasara,
light up for you.
The hopes of Happy times,
And dreams for a year full of smiles!
Wish you Happy Dasara.

On this auspicious occasion,
I wish the color, bliss and beauty
Of this festival…
Be with you throught the year!
Happy dasara

This Navratri, May You Be Blessed With Good Fortune
As Long As Ganeshji’S Trunk,
Wealth And Prosperity As Big As His Stomach,
Happiness As Sweet As His Ladoos
And May Your Trouble Be As Small As His Mouse.

hindi gazal

Nahi jina muze thak gayi hu
Raah takte takte roz mar rahi hu
Zalim kya rog laga gaya tu
jakar bhi roz yaad aata he tu..

Nazar bhar k dekha na kuch baat ki..
To kyo aarzu ki mulakat…
Ye rasman bhi koi nahi puchta…
Kahan din guzara??
Kahan raat ki………
Pata ye chala vo to ha SANGDIL
Use kadr kya mere JAZBAAT KI………..
Tumhe pa k bhi hum akele rahe…………………..
Ajab DURIYAN hain ye halaat ki……..,,
Kasam hai na bulegi ”
MALIKA” Kabhi
Jo ghadiyan guzari tere sath ki………………….!!!!

Kisay Pukaarein Hum Is Hujoom-e-Gham Mein
Ke Sub Hi Hamaray Aazamaye Huey Hain

Tum Hi Ne Hamein Kar Diya Tanha
Warna Hum To Ta’alluq Nibhaey Huay Hain

Dheemay Dheemay Aansoo Dil Se Girtay
Ke Hum Apna Gham Sub Se Chupaey Huay Hain

Un Shaano Tak Ab Rasaai Na Rahi
Jin Shano Pe Aansoo Bahaye Huay Hain

Hum Karein Ab Kisi Per Kaisay Bharosa
Ke Zamane Se Dhokay Khaaey Huay Hain

Khushion Se Bhi Ab To Lagta Hay Dar
Is Qadar Zakham Hum Ne Khaye Huay Hain

Ab Dast-e-Shanasai Na BaRhayein Gay Hum
Ke Zamane Bhar Se Thukraye Huey Hain…

Hi friends,
There are few things which touches your heart.

Zindagi sabhi ko mili ho ye zaroori to nahi
aag gulshan mai baharen bhi laga sakti hai
Sirf Bijli hi giri ho ye zaroori to nahi
Neeend to dard ke bistar pe bhi aa sakti hai
Teri aahosh mai hi sar ho ye zaroori to nahi

Gazlon ka hunar saki ko sikhayenge
roange magar aansu nahi aayenge
Keh dena samandar se, Hum Oas ke moti hai
Dariya ke tarah tughse milne nahi Aayenge

Aachi surat ko sawarne ki zaroorat kya hai
Sadgi bhi to kayamet ke ada hoti

Apna ghar, apna gaon, apne log
inki keemat, toh, wo pardeshi jaante hain,
Choot gayi rozi roti ki talaash me,
Sarzami jinki darbadar ho,

Banatey hai ghonsla kisi or saakh pe.
Par kya itnaa aasaan hota hai,
pardesh me ghar basaanaa.
Takleef toh wo hi jaanta hai

Choota hai jiska ghar gaon.
khuda tujhe mai nahi maanta.
Par fir bhi ek iltiza tujhse
Sab ko

Chandini Raatoun Me Kuch Bheege Qiyaloun Ki TarahMein Ne Chaha Hai Tumhe Din ke Ujaloun Ki TarahGuzre The Jo Kuch Lamhe Tumhare SathMeri Yaadoun Me Chamakte Hain Woh Sitaroun Ki TarahAshk Behte Hain Aankhoun Me Nadiyoun Ki TarahTere Aane Ki Qabar Aayi Hai Jab BhiMein Jee Uthi Hoon Insanoun Ki TarahTujh Se Bichad Ke Kahin Chain Naa AayaMein Dhoondti Phir Rahi Hoon Tumhe Deewanoun Ki Tarah

good night sms

Namaskar.
This is ALL Pak ANTI-SLEEP ASSOCIATION
Mid night service.
Our aim is to disturb the sleep of others.Thank u..
GOOD NIGHT……………………


Andheri sadak. Sunsaan Kabristaan.
Sooni haveli, Kala aasmaan.
Raat Ho Gayee, So-ja Shaitaan!
Gudnite!

good morning sms

You r my sweet SONA,
I don’t want u KHONA,
I want a place in your heart’s KONA,
Otherwise i will start RONA,
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA

Subh ka har pal Zindagi de aapko,
Din ka har Lamha Khushi de aapko,
Jahan gum ki hawa chu ke bhi na gujare,
Khuda woh Jannat si Zamin de Aapko.

Guds Mrng

Suraj ki pahli kiran
Khushi de apko,
Dusri kiran hasi de
Tisri tandurasti
Chouthi kamyabi
Bas kafi ho gaya.
Ab garmi lagegi?!!
..Gud mrng

Morning is God’s way of saying:
“One more time! Live life.
Make a difference.
Touch 1 heart.
Encourage 1 mind.
Inspire 1 soul…”
Gud Morg…

A cup of hot hello’s,
A plate of crispy wishes,
A spoon of sweet smiles & A slice of great success.
Hope this breakfast makes ur day lovely…!Gud Mrng..!

Gulsan me bhanwron ka fera ho gya,
Purav me suraj ka dera ho gya.
Muskan ke saath aankhe khol pyaare,
Ek baar fir se svera ho gya.

G-get up
O-open ur eyes
O-out of ur bed
D-day has risen
M-merry life
O-old dreams cum true
R-rise$shine
N-new frnds
I-ideas of life
N-nice future
G-GOODDAY 4 U!

Keep the smile,
Leave the tear,
Think of joy,
Forget the fear ,
Hold the laugh,
Leave the pain,
Be jouyous till i sms again.

Look Outside
It’s So Pleasent !
Sun Smiling For You !
Trees Dancing For You
Wind Singing For You !
Because,
I have told them all To Wish You..
Good Morning…

A
Aitbaar

B
Bharosa

C
Chahat

D
Dosti

E
Enayat

F
Faisla

G
Gham

H
Hamdam

I
Intezaar

J
Justuju

K
Khayal

L
Lamhye

M
Mohabat

N
Narazgi

O
Omeed

P
Piyar

Q
qismat

R
rishtye

S
samjhota

T
tamanna

U
udasiyan

V
virasat

W
wada

X
xcuse

Y
Yaden

Z
Zindagi

Zindagi in hi namon ka 1 naam hai,
Yehi hai zindagi,
SO enjoy karo or karte raho,
Good Morning.

Twinkle Twinkle lazy star
Kitna soyega uthja yaar,
up above the world so high,
sun has risen in the sky,
uthke jaldi pee le chai,
then call me up and say “HI”
Good Morning
Have a Nice Day+

ishq sms

Yaadon mein meri tum aaya na karo
Yun baar baar bevaqt hamein sataaya na karo
Pyar karte ho tum bhi humse maloom hai yeh
Yun sabke saamne beithke sharmaaya na karo

Karenge tumse wafa hum har ghadi
Kabhi shikaayat ka mauka na denge tumhein
Haste haste guzaarenge zindagi ka har lamha
Kabhi roothne ka mauka na denge tumhein

Jagaaya unhone aisa ke aaj tak so na sakke
Rulaaya unhone aisa ke sabke saamne ro bhi na sakke
Jaane kya baat thi unn mein….
Jabse maana unhe apna tabse kisi ke ho na sakke
Neendh aankhon se udh gayi hai
Cheyn dil ka kahin kho gaya hai
Haalat dil ki na poocho humse aap….
Kahin mujhe pyar toh nahin hogaya hai You can fall from a mountain,
You can fall from a tree,
But the best way to fall,
Is to fall in love with me

Bikhri si inn zulfo ko tu apni ungliyo se aake savaar le
Mere khwaab mein aa ke mere saath yeh tanha raat guzaar le
Hota nahin ab inn meethi yaadon se mera guzaara
Marr na jaau kahin iss se pehle mujhe dil se pukaar le

Teri sabhi baatein baar baar yaad karna acha lagta hai..
Tumhein khud mein mehsoos karna acha lagta hai..
Dua hai bas yahi ke Khuda aapko humse juda na kare..
Kyunke tera saanso ke nazdeek rehna acha lagta hai

Mohabat ke bina zindagi fizool hai
Par mahobat ke bhi aapne ussol hai
Kehte hai milti hai mohabbat mein bahut ulfaate
Par aap ho mehboob toh saab kubul hai…

“KitnA Pyaar Karte hain tumse
Kaash TumkO bhi yeH ehsaaS ho JayE
Magar AisA na Ho Ke
Woh hosH mein tab Aaaye
Jab HuM gehri neenD mein so JaayE”

hichikiyon se ek bat ka ehsas hota hein
ki shayad koi humhein bhi yad kartaa hein
beshak milne naa aaye par
char lamhein humpar barbad to karta hein” Har baar dil se yeh paigaam aaye,
Jubaan kholu to tera he naam aaye,
Tum he kyon bhaye dil ko kya malum,
Jab nazroo ke saamne haseen tamaam aaye. Aap ke chahne wale bohot honge, lekin hum bhi kuch kum nahi,
Aap ke naam ke siway hume koi naam yaad nahi,
Aap ko yaad karne ke siway hume kuch kaam nahi,
Dil karta hai sirf ek baar pardes aanke tumhe dekh lu,
Phir maut bhi aae to koi gum nahi…. Missing u a lot my love…… Duniya mein aisa phool nahin jis mein khushboo na ho
Aisa sitaara nahin jis mein roshni na ho
Hamari zindagi mein aisa ek pal nahin
Jis mein “A” aap ki yaad na ho Tumhain Dil Main Basaye Rakhta Hoon,
Aur Duniya Ko Bhulaye Rakhta Hoon
Tumhe Meri Nazar Na Lag Jaye
Apni Nazar Jhukaye Rakhta Hoon..!!!!

Yun durr rehkar duriyon ko badhaya nahi karte,
Apne deewano ko sataya nahi karte,
Har waqt bas jise tumhara khayal ho,
Usey apni awaaz ke liye tadpaya nahi karte. !!!

Tum Kya Jano Kya Hai Tanhai,
Is Tute Hue Patte Se Pucho Kya Hai Judai,
Yu Bewafa Ka Ilzam Na De Zalim,
Is Waqt Se Puch Kis Waqt Teri Yaad Na Aayi… Zindagi Sirf Muhabbbat Nahi, Kuch Aur Bhi Hai,
Zulf-O-Rukhsaar Ki Jannat Nahi, Kuch Aur Bhi Hai. Bhook Aur Pyaas Ki Maari Hui Is Duniya Mein,
Ishq Hi Ek Haqeeqat Nahi, Kuch Aur Bhi Hai.

Sitare to bohot hai, magar Chand jaisa koi nahi,
Phool to bohot hai, magar Gulab jaisa koi nahi,
Shayar to bohot hai ees duniya main, magar Aap jaisa koi nahi,
Aur dost to bohot hai hamare, magar Aap jaisa Heera(diamond) koi nahi…

Poocho na us kaagaz se,
jis per hum dil ke bayaan likhte hain,
Tanhaayion mein beeti baatein tamaam likhte hain,
woh kalam bhi dewani ho gayi,

jis se hum tumhaara naam likhte hain..Jis Ki Qurbat Mein Karar Bohat Hai,
Usss Ka Milna Dushwar Bohat Hai,
Jo Meray Haathon Ki Lakiron Mein Nahin,

Usss Shaks Se Humain Piyar Bohat Hai..

Kya kahen kuch kaha nahi jaata.
Dard mitha hae par saha nahi jata.
Rishta ban gaya is qadar aap se
Bin yaad kiye aapko ab raha nahi jata

ik Gazal us pe likhuu.N dil kaa takaazaa hai bahut
in dinon Khud se bichhar jaane kaa dharakaa hai bahut

raat ho din ho Gafalat ho ki bedaarii ho
usko dekhaa to nahiin hai use sochaa hai bahut

tashnagii ke bhii muqaamaat hain kyaa kyaa yaanii
kabhii dariyaa nahiin kaafii, kabhii qatraa hai bahut

mere haathon kii lakiiron ke izaafe hain gavaah
main ne patthar kii tarah Khud ko taraashaa hai bahut

hindi jokes

Teacher 2 student : What’s Your Cast ?
Student : Pehle to hum Pandit The,
Fir Rajput Hue,
Fir Baniya ho Gaye,
Abhi Hai Darji,
Or
Aage AMMI ki Marzi.

Agar Basanti Ki Mausi Thakur Ko Rakhi Bandhe to Basanti
or Thakur Ka Kya Rishta Hua ? ? ?
Socho…..
Socho…..
Kuch Bhi Nahi Apna Apna Kaam Karo
Thakur Ke Haath Hi Nahi The.

If People Say You are Crazy,
be patient,
You are monkey relax,
You are Mad,
be cool,
but
if they say you are Smart ,
Thappad lagana Saale ko !
Mazaak ki bhi had hoti hai.

Boy & Girl in restuarant:
Boy-main last bar puch raha hu,
um mujhse shadi karogi?
Girl- nahi
Boy-soch lo
Girl-keh diya na nahi
Boy-waiter bill alag alag lana.

Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai,
Uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai.
Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.

Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do,
mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha,
yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.

Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped – paudhe thay,
Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha,
har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.

Ek Din CHINTU Ne Apne Dost Ko Bataya- “Meri Bivi PINKI Itni Dayalu Hai Ki Wah Bartan Dhone Wale Ko Pani Garm Karke Deti Hai. Dono Time Chay Aur Khana Bhi Deti Hai.”
“Kamaal Hai! Aaj Ki Mahilaye Itni Udaar Ho Sakti Hai, Par Tumhare Yaha Bartan Kaun Dhotaa Hai?” Mitra Ne Puchha.
“Mai.” CHINTU Ne Jawab Diya.

Ek Taange Ki Ghodi Jab Chalte-Chalte Ruk Jati, To Kochvaan CHINTU Utarakar Uske Saamane Gana Gata.
Gana Sunkar Ghodi Phir Se Chalne Lag Jaati Thi.
Aakhir Tang Aakar Taange Me Baithi Hui Savari Ne CHINTU Se Puchha- “Bhai, Ye Kya Kissa Hai? Tumhari Ghodi Gana Sunkar Aage Kyo Badhti Hai?”
CHINTU Ne Batayaa- “Babu Ji, Vastav Me Yah Baarat Ki Ghodi Hai……”

CHINTU Ne Apni Patni PINKI Se Puchha- “PINKI Darling Mere Rishtedaro Me Tum Kise Sabse Jyadaa Chahti Ho, Is Baat Ka Jawab Do.”
“Tumhari Saas Ji Ko.” Patni PINKI Ne Ek Pal Sochkar Jawab Diya.”

PINKI Ne Apni Padosin Ki Ladki Se Kaha- “Akhir Baat Kya Hai, Tum Muje Dekhte Ho Aankhe Kyo Churakar Bhag Jati Ho?”
“Juth Na Bolo PINKI Anti. Chori Karne Ki Meri Aadat Nahi Hai.” Chh Saal Ki Ladki Ne Kaha.

Ek Private Narsing Home Me Bharti Daulatamand CHINTU Ji Ne Khubsurat Nars PINKI Se Kaha- “Sister Mai Tumse Shadi Karna Chahtaa Hu.”
“Sorry! Apke Parivar Me “Sister” Se Shadi Karne Ka Rivaz Hai?” PINKI Ne Jawab Diya

Kisi Kaam Se Pados Ki Ek Vruddh Mahila PINKI Ke Ghar Aai ! Aupachariktaawash Unke Liye Kaanch Ke Gilas Me Sharbat Banakar Le Aai.
“Bahu, Mai Kaanch Ke Gilas Me Nahi Piungi.” Vruddh Mahila Ne Kaha.
“Is Par Paas Baithi PINKI Ki Chh Varshiy Putri Boli- “Isi Me Pi Lijiye. TUT Gaya To Mammi Kuchh Nahi Kahegi.”

Guddi (Apni Saheli Nirjaa Se)- “Maine Apne Pati Guddu Ko Unki Ashiqmijaji Par Bahut Kharikhoti Sunayi.”
Nirjaa- “Fir To Bechare Sharm Se Pani-Pani Ho Gaye Honge?”
Guddi- “Are Nahi, Ulte Kahne Lage Ki Tumhe Bhi Ameriki Rashtrpati Ki Patni Se Sabak Sikhna Chahiye.

Guddi (Guddu Se)- “Darling, Kal Ham Shadi Karne Ja Rahe Hai. Mai Tumse Kuchh Nahi Chhipana Chahti.
Apne Pichhale Prem Prasango Ke Bare Me Tumhe Sab Kuchh Bata Dena Chahti Hu.”
Guddu- “Tumne To 2 Saptah Pahle Hi Sab Kuchh Bata Diya Hai.”
Guddi- “Par Wah To 2 Saptah Pahle Ki Bat Hai. Is Bich To….”

Rajnish Purohit

Doctor- “Kya Baat Hai?’
Guddu- “Muje Kutte Ne Kat Liya Hai.”
Doctor- “Kya Tumhe Malum Nahi Hai Ki Mai 7 Baje KeBad Kisi Rogi Ko Nahi Dekhta?”
Guddu- “Ji, Malum Hai, Magar Yah Bat Kutte Ko Malum Nahi Thi.”

“Akhir T.V. Me Aisi Kya Khubi Hai, To Tum Hamesha Usi Se Chipke Rahate Ho?’
Guddi Ne Guddu Se Jara Jallakar Kaha.
Guddu Ne Jawab Diya- “Dabbu Ki Mammi,
Mai Jab Chahu T.V. Ka Munh To Band Kar Sakta Hu.”

Misses PINKI Apne Padosi Ke Yaha Bachcha Hone Par Unke Saat Saal Ke Bete CHINTU Se Boli- ‘Ab To Tumhare Yaha Naya Bebi Aa Gaya Hai?”
CHINTU Munh Bichkaakar Bola- “Aunti! Use Naya Kahti Hai? Are! Jab Wah Rota Hai To Lagta Hai Ki Kai Saalo Se Rona Sikh Raha Ho.”

Cinemahall Me Guddu Ke Bagal Me Baithi 2 Aurate Lagatar Apas Me Baate Kiye Ja Rahi Thi. Thodi Der Tak To Guddu Sabra Kiye Baitha Raha Lekin Fir Junjalaa Kar Bola- “Maaf Kijiyega, Muje Apki Baatchit Ke Chalte Film Ka Koi Dialogue Sunaai Nahi Pad Raha Hai. Aap…..”
“To Ham Bhi Kaha Aap Ko Suna Rahe Hai, Hamari Private Baatchit Chal Rahi Hai.” Unme Se Guddi Ne Munh Banaate Huye Kaha.

Rajnish Purohit

Kabhi insan galat ya sahi nahi hota,
waqt use galt ya sahi banata he,
koi dekhta he kichad me kamal
aur kisi ko chand me b dag najar ata…
————————————-
Mera NaaM BoL Ke
Soya Karo
Khidki KhoL Takia Mod Ke
Soya Karo

HuM B Aayege TuMhare
KhayaLo Me
IsLiye Thodi Jagah Chod Ke
Soya Karo
————————————-
Hum ho gaye fana mohabat k is zamane me
Saja k tor pe mili maut paimane me
Mohabat ne nakam kar diya
Warna khubiyaan aur b thi iss diwane me
————————————-
Santa Ko Koi Mobile Pe Tang Karta Tha Santa Ne New SIM Kharid Kar Use SMS Kia Maine Wo Sim Band Kar Dia He Ab Tera Baap b Tang Nahi Kar Sakta..
————————————-
Ab To Iqrar Kar Lo
Aur Na Tadpao
Ab To Bata Do
Aur Na Sharmao
Arre Bol Bhi Do
Ki
Aap
Humse
Bhi Zyada Kanjus Ho SmS Karne Me
————————————-
Santa’s Army Test

Pappu- 3+5?
Santa- 8
Pappu- 7+3?
Santa- 10
Pappu- 8+8?
Santa- Pata nahi sir
Mere pass sirf 10 hi ungli Hai ..
————————————-

Ravi- “Inka Swasthya Bahut Achchha Hai, Kya Khate Hai?”
Nirmal- “Tamaatar.”
Ravi- ” Aur Pite Kya Hai?”
Nirmal- “Soda Water.”
Ravi- “Inke Haath Me Kya Hai?”
Nirmal- “Tharmomitar. ”
Ravi- “”Yaha To Sab Tar-Tar Hai.
Maine Kisi Ke Ghar Me Naukari Karne Ko Kaha Tha Taalab Me Nahi.”

Gopal- “Apke Ghar Me Aag Lag Gai Hai.”
Ravi- “Chinta Karne Ki Avshyakata Nahi Hai, Bimaa Hai.”
Gopal – “Lekin Apki Patni Andar Jal Rahi Hai.”
Ravi – “Koi Fikra Nahi Uska Bhi Bimaa Hai.”

Sharabi Ravi- “(Dusare Sharabi Se) Yaar, Mai Kal Bharat Ka Pradhanamantri Banunga.”
Dusra Sharabi- “Tu To Tab Banega Jab Mai Istifaa De Dunga.”

Ravi Ne Kuchh Sochkar Kaha- “Pitaji, Mai Tumhe Apni Baarat Me Nahi Le Jaunga.”
Pita Ne Aashchryachakit Hokar Kaha- “Kyo Bhai, Aisi Kya Baat Hai?”
Ravi Ne Kaha- “Aap Bhi Muje Apni Baarat Me Nahi Le Gaye The.”

Ravi Ko Uski Maa Ne Pita. To Ravi Bhaagakar Chaarpaai Ke Niche Chhip Gaya.
Uske Pitaji Ghar Aye Aur Puchha- “Ravi Beta Kaha Hai?”
Uski Maa Ne Hath Se Ishara Karte Hue Batayaa Ki Chaarpaai Ke Niche Chip Gaya.
Uske Pitaji Ghar Aye Aur Puchha- “Ravi Beta Kaha Hai ?”
Ravi Bola- “Pitaji,
Kya Apko Bhi Maa Ne Maara Hai Jo Yaha Chhipane Aa Rahe Ho?”

Teacher- “Bachcho, Jo Kuchh Puchhna Ho Puchh Lo. Ab Pariksha Najadik Aa Gayi Hai.”
Ravi- “Bas Aap Itnaa Bata Dijie Ki Prashn-Patra Kis Pres Me Chhap Rahe Hai?”

Kaafi Raat Gaye Ghar Lautane Ke Baad Ravi Ne Minu Se Apni Safai Pesh Karne Ki Koshish Karte Hue Kaha- “Tumhe Pata Hai, Muje Ghar Lautane Me Itni Der Kyo Ho Gayi.”
“Janti Hu. Lekin Tum Apni Mangadhat Kahani Sunaakar Apne Dil Ka Boj Halkaa Kar Lo.”

Chacha- “Ravi, Tu Bada Shaitan Hai.”
Ravi- “Aisa Mat Kahnaa Chachaji, Nahi To Log Aapko Shaitaan Ka Chacha Kahkar Bulayenge.”

Ravi Ke Aspataal Me Daakhil Hone Ki Khabar Paakar Amit Use Dekhne Aspataal Pahuncha. Uske Sar Par, Badan Par Jaha- Taha Pattiya Bandhi Dekh Usne Hairan Hokar Kaha- “Yaar, Abhi Shaam Ko Chh Baje To Maine Tumhe Achchha Khasha Dekha Tha. Tum Minu Ke Sath Juhu Bich Par Baithe The, Achanak Yah Kya Ho Gaya?”
“Yaar, Jo Tumane Dekhaa Thaa Wahi To Meri Patni Ne Bhi Dekh Liya Tha.” Ravi Ne Kaha- “Wah Apne Police Inspektar Bhai Ke Sath Us Samay Waha Ghum Rahi Thi.”

Ravi- “Tumhari Umr Kya Hai?”
Rakesh- “Baarah Saal.”
Ravi- “Pichhle Varsh Bhi Tumne Yahi Kaha Tha.”
Rakesh- “To Kya Mai Apni Baat Par Atal Na Rahu?”

Raju Simaran Ki Ghadi Lekar Ghadisaaj Ke Paas Aya.
“Aap Chabi Kab Bharte Hai?” Ghadisaaj Ne Puchha.
“Raat Me.” Raju Ne Uttar Diya.
“Isaliye Itni Kharab Ho Gai Hai.” Ghadisaaj Bola- “Krupya Subah Chabi Bhara Kare.”

“Tum Hamesha Murkhtapurn Baate Kiya Karti Ho.” Raju Ne Simaran Se Kaha.
Simaran Shant Swar Me Boli- “Sab Sangat Ka Asar Hai, Yaha Aane Se Pahle Mai Aisi Na Thi. Mera B.A. Ka Certificate Is Baat Ki Gawahi Hai.’

“Start Ho Jaane Ke Baad Is Gaadi Ka Break Hi Nahi Lagta.” Simaran Ne Raju Se Kaha.
“Kya Tumne Bhi Is Gaadi Ko Drive Kiya Tha.” Raju Ne Puchha.
“Haa.” Simaran Ne Batayaa.
“Tabhi To Tumharaa Asar Is Gaadi Par Pad Gayaa Hai.” Raju Ne Chhinta Diya.

Mahila Neta Simaran Aurato Ki Ajadi Ke Paksh Me Bhashan De Rahi Thi. Wah Aurato Ko Dimaagi Taur Par Purusho Se Uchch Siddh Karna Chahti Thi. Usne Kaha- “Akhir Pagalkhane Adhiktar Purusho Se Hi Kyo Bhar Rahe Hai? Diwane Adhiktar Purush Hi Kyo Hote Hai?”
Tabhi Waha Maujud Logo Me Upsthit Simaran Ke Premi Raju Ki Awaj Aai. “Are, Unko Diwanaa Banayaa Kisne?”

Sangitakar Raju Se Simaran Ne Kaha- “Kya Aaj Raat Ke Liye Aap Apna Sitaar Aur Tabalaa Muje De Sakte Hai?”
Kyo…. Kya Mera Gana Sun-Sunakar Aaj Aapka Bhi Man Gane Ko Kar Raha Hai?” Kalakaar Raju Ne Kaha.
‘Nahi Aaj Mai Aaram Se Sona Chahti Hu.” Simaran Ne Jawab Diya.

funny sms

Maths Sir: A=B,
B=C, SO A=C.
prove this method wit example.
Student: sir,
i love u. U love ur daughter. So i love ur daughter,
Thats all sir.

Jaha Dosti Waha pyar
jaha Pyaar Waha isq
Jaha Ishq Waha Mohabat
Jaha Mohabat waha Judai
Jaha Judai Waha Dard
Jaha Dard Waha ‘ZANDU BAM’.

Nikli Pyar Ki Baat To Tum Yad Aye
Uthe Dil Me Wo Jazbat To Tum Yad Aye
Yu To Dil Mera Bebas N Rehta Tha
Par Badle Jab Halaat To Tum Yad Aaye…

Farebi Thi Wo Apni Mashuka Samaj Betha
BEWFA Ko Apni ZINDGI Samaj Betha
Hm BEWAKUF the Ya Bad-Nasibi Hmari
Uski DILLAGI ko Chahat Smaj Betha..

PAISA Ayega Jayega
PYAR Ayega Jayega
Lekin Is DOST ka SMS
Ayega
Ayega
Aur
Aata hi Rahega…

Devdas Ko Papa Ne Kaha Ghar Chhod Do
Maa Ne Kaha Paro Ko Chhod Do
Devdas Ne Kaha Duniya Chhod Do
Appko Kisne Kaha Humse Baat Karna Naa Chhod Do…

Dil ke chhalon ko koi shayari kahe,
to dard nahi hotaTakleef to tab hoti hai,
Jab log wah-wah karte hain

Apne hisse ki zindagi to hum kabke jee chuke,
Ab to sirf dhadkanon ka lihaj karte hain,
Kya karen is duniya walon ka,
Jo aakhari dhadkano pe bhi aitaraz karte hain.
Yu nazar se nazar ki baat ki,
ki dil chura le gayehum to samjhe the but, aap to dhadkan suna gaye…

Rah rah ke apki yad aati hai.Sms na aane ke wajah satati hai.soch rahe zarur koi gam hai.Ya phir aap ke cell main paise kam hai.

Tumko dekha toh ye khayal aaya,
Tumko dekha toh ye khayal aaya,
Ke pagalon ke stock main naya maal ayaa….

Khud ko kar buland itna,
Ke himalaya ke chhoti pe ja pahunche,
Aur khuda tujh se puchhe,
Aabe gadhe ab utre ga kaise.

Agar Hume Dil Mein Basaogi,
To Heart-Attack Se Mar Jaogi

Agar Hume Aankhon Mein Basaogi,
To Chasme Ka Number Badaogi

Agar Hamara Picha Karogi,
To Gatar Mein Ja Girogi

Tum nay meray janazay main akar kiya muskura diya..

bijli chamak gaye sara kafan jala diya…

aashiq apni mehbooba ka aisi dhoop mein intjaar karte hai
jis dhoop mein majdoor kaam karne se inkaar karte hai.

Koi bhi cream lagane se kuch nhi hota.Agr sundar dikhna hai to khoob rootho… Kyunki… Koi haseena jab ruth jati hai to or bhi haseen ho jati hai

Ek gaon me thi pan ki dukhan,
Paro ne di devdas ko muskan,
Devdas ne khilaya Paro ko pan,
Paro ne kaha Shukriya bhaijaan.

(Sorry to Nasir Ahmed Nasir famous Urdu poet of ‘Jab se tune diwana bana rakha
hai, Sang her Shakhsh ne hathooN me Utha rakha hai’)

Jab se begum ne mujhe murga bana rakha hai
MaiN ne nazrooN ki tarha sir bhi jhuka rakha hai

Bartano! Aaj merey sir pe barastey kyoN ho
MaiN ne tum ko to hamesha se dhula rakha hai

Pehley Belen ne banaya tha merey sir pe Ghomer
aur ab Chimtey ne mera gaal saja rakha hai

Sarey kaprey to jala daley haiN begum ne
tan chupaney ko Banyan phata rakha hai

Wahi Dunya maiN muqadder ka Sikander yahaN Tehra
Jis ne khod ko abhi Shaadi se bacha rakha hai

Pi ja is maar ki talkhi ko bhi haNs ker Nasir
Maar khaney maiN bhi Qudrat ne maza rakha hai

Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana…
agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana…
Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narak me hai…

Arz hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye…

Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.

Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.

Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,
Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!

Mandir mein jap karta hoon,
Masjid mein adab karta hoon,
insan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun
isliye roz tujhko SMS karke pap karta hoon

Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain…
Aur kyo na ho… Khayi Bhi to ‘HARI Mirchi…’-hai. ..

Andhe ke hath me “TORCH”,
Bahare ke hath me “RADIO”,
Gunge ke hath me “MIKE”,
AUR AAP KE HATH ME “MOBILE”
WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!

Mulk ki bhi ek sarhad hoti hai,
Bacche ki bhi ek zid hoti hai,
Aur kitna intezar karu tere sms ka,
arre yaar kanjusi ki bhi ek haad hoti hai.

Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhai me,
Dil duba hai gamo ki gahrai me,
hume mat dhundo duniya ki bhid me,
hum milenge tumhe fir kisi,
free SMS ki scheme me.

Phoolon ne Amrit ka jaam bheja hai,
Sooraj ne gagan se Salam bheja hai,
Mubarak ho Aapko nayi subhah,
Tahe-Dil se Humne ye Paigaam bheja hai
Good Morning

Najre Jhuki to Paimane bane,
Dil tute to Maikhane bane,
Kuch to jaroor khas hai aap mein..
Hum yoon hi nahi aapke Diwane Bane…

Gadha jo khaye wo Ghas ho tum,
Buddhe ka Chyawanprash ho tum,
Idiot stupid bakwas ho tum,
Par jo bhi ho yar, Dost Jhakaas ho tum…

Lehar aati hai, kinare se palat jati hai,
yaad aati hai, dil mein simat jati hai,
don! o mein farakh sirf itna hai,
lehar bewaqt aati hai, aur yaad har waqt aati hai.

jab dosti ki dastaan waqt sunayega,
hum ko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega ,
tab bhool jayenge zindagi ke gamon ko ,
jab AAp ke saath guzra waqt yaad ayega

Kabhi badli hui takdir nazar ati hai,
yado ki bas ek zanjir nazar ati hai ,
pade bhi to kya pade
yaar- mujhe mobile me bhi teri tasveer nazar ati hai,

Shadi karna tha par kismat khuli nahi,
TAJMAHAL Bana tha par MUMTAZ mili nahi,
Ab kismat khuli, Shadi hue,
ab TAZ banana chahta hu,
par ye MUMTAZ marti nahi!

Bhul se kabhi hame bhi yaad kiya karo,
Pyar nahi to Shikayat hi kiya karo,
Itna bhi gair na samjho ki baat hi na kiya karo,
Phone nahi to SMS hi kiya karo….

Aap jaise log kuch khaas lagte hain.
man main har waqt hum ek aas rakhte hai.
najane kab aa jaye aap ka sms
is liye cell ko dil ke paas rakhte hai.

Jindagi behaal hai,
Sur hai naa taal hai,
Msgbox bhi kangal hai,
kya aapki sms factory me hadtal hai,
yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.

Is dil mein yaadon ke mele hain,
tum bin bahut akele hain,
sab kuch chodke tume SMS kar rele hain,
dekho hum kitne wele

Nazar tumhari, Nazar hamari,
Nazar ne dil ki nazar utari,
Nazar ne dekha nazar ko aise,
ki nazar dosti ko lage na hamari.

Tussi hasde ho saanu hassan vaste,
Tussi ronde ho saanu rovvan vaset,
Tussi 1 vaar ruske te vekho,
Mar jayenge tuhanu manaan vaste.

Baadal kitne khushnaseeb hai,
Door rahkar bhi zameen par baraste hai,
Hum kitne badnaseeb hai,
Paas rahkar bhi milne ko taraste hai.

Dosti ka pehala pegam aapke naam,
Zindagi ki akhari sham aapke naam..
Iss safar main humsafar hain hum dono,
Is dosti ko nibhana hain aapka kaam.

is kadar hamari chahat ka imtihan na lijiye.
Kyu ho humse khafa, bayan to kijiye,
Kar dijiye maaf agar ho gaye humse khata,
Yu yaad na karke saza na dijiye.

Rishton ki ye duniye hai niraali,
Sab riston se pyaari hai dosti tumhaar! i.
Manzoor hai aansu bhi aakho mein hamaree,
Agar aa jaaye muskaan hot pe tumahari.

Khuda se thoda raham khareed lete,
Aap ke zakhmo ka marham khareed lete.
Agar kahi bikti khushiya meri,
To saari bech kar aap ka har ghum khareed lete.

Jam pe jam pine se kya fayda,
Sham ko pi subah utar jayegi.
Arey do boond dosti ke pi le,
Zindagi saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.

Fiza mein mehekti ek shaam ho tum,
Pyar mein chalakta jam ho tum.
Seene main chupaye phirte hai hum yaad tumahari,
Meri zindagi ka dusra naam ho tum.

Vaade pe o aitbaar nahi karte,
Hum zikre mohabbat sare bazaar nahi karte.
Darta hai dil unki ruswai se,
Aur who sochte hai hum unse pyar nahi karte.

Har kadam par imtihaan leti hai zindagi,
Har waqt naya sadma deti hai zindagi.
Hum jindagi se kya shikwa kare,
Aap jaise dost bhi to deti hai zindagi.

Kaash who nagme hame sunaye na hote,
Aaj unko sun kar aansu aye na hote.
Agar isi tarah bhool hi jaana tha,
To itni gehrai se dil me samaye na hote.

Har khushi kam hai,
Tera gum bhulane ke liye,
Ek tera gum hi kaafi hai,
Mujhe umr bhar rulane ke liye

Dil Ki Basti Bikhar Gayi Hoti
Ke Rooh Ke Zakhm Bhar Gaye Hote
Yeh Zindagi To Aap Ki Amaanat Hai Warna
Hum To Kab Ke Mar Gaye Hote

Unke Bewafai Par Wafa Hum Karenge
Yaad Ko Unki Dil Se Juda Hum Karenge
Itna Chaha Phir Bhi Yakeen Nahin
Aise Zindagi Jee Kar Kya Karenge

Mere Jineke Liye Tera Armaan Hi Kafi Hai .
Dil Ke Kalam Se Likhi Ye ! Dastaan Hi Kafi Hai.
Tir-E-Talwaar Ki Tujhe Kya Zaroorat-E-Nazneen,
Qatl Karne Ke Liye Teri Muskaan hi Kafi Hai

Ittefaq se hum mile,
Ittefaq se aap hume pasand aaye,
Ittefaq se hum dost bane,
Humari dosti ab ittefaq nahi,
Zindagi ki khoobsurat hakikat hai.

Yun durr reh! kar duriyon ko badaya nahi karte,
Apne deewano ko sataya nahi karte,
Har waqt bas jise tumhara khyal ho,
Usey apni awaaz ke liye tadpaya nahi karte.

Zamane se nahi to tanhai se darta hu,
Pyar se nahi to ruswai se darta hu,
Milne ki umang bahot hoti hai dil me,
Lekin milne ke baad teri judai se darta hu.

Hum to dil deneko taiyar baithe hai,
Darde mohabbat karne ko taiyar baite hai,
Par hai re meri futi kismat,
Koi dil leneko hi taiyar nahi.

Bekabu hai dil fir bhi jiya ja raha hu,
Khali hao botal fir bhi piya ja raha hu,
Majburi to dekho is dil ki.
Reply nahi mil raha fir bhi msg kiya ja raha hu.

Wo ruthe is kadar ki manaya na gaya,
Durr itne ho gaye ki pass bulaya na gaya,
Dil to dil tha samundar ka sahil nahi,
Likh diya naam to fir mitaya na gaya.

Tumse doori ka ehsaas jab satane laga,
Tere saath guzra har lamha yaad aane laga,
Jabbhi tumhe bhulne ki koshish ki,
Ae dost tu dil ke aur paas ! aane laga..

Ham tere dil mein rahenge ek yaad bankar,
Tere lab pa khilenge muskaan bankar,
Kabhi hamein apne se juda na samajhna,
Hum tere saath challenge aasmaan bankar.

Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,
Begana kaho ya deewana,
Suno is dil ka fasana,
Teri dosti hai mere jeene ka bahana..

Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai
Kuch nasha to dheemi barsaat ka hai
Hame aap yuhi sharabi na kahiye,
Yeh dil par asar to aapse mulaqat ka hai.

Chand adhura hai sitaro ke bina,
gulshan adhura hai bahaaro ke bina,
samundar adhura hau kinaro ke bina,
jeena adhura hai tum jaise yaaro ke bina!!!

Kalam uthayi hai lafs nahi milta,
jisko dhoond rahein hain vo shaks nahi milta,
firte hain vo jamaane ki talaash mein,
bas humare liye unhe waqt nahi milta!!!

Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai,
humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai,
is umeed ke saath ki a! ayega SMS aapka,
humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hain…

Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
aur vo boli ki Thanda matlab Coca Cola

Yadd Karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
dil dooba hai gamo ki gehrai mein,
hamein mat dhoonndho duniya ki bhid mein,
hum milenge tumhe phir kisi, free SMS ki scheme mein.